jaye is much better now she takes girl tablets. she is a fucking amazing parent, collector of other people debris and discarded images, musical savant, currently unemployed hackney based painter and drawer of pictures, computer saddo, documentary film-maker in waiting & petite and bijoux science fiction fan girl... oh and i play records too :)

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yeah no

i’m not one of those people that will preach unconditional sex positivity

because some people’s “kinks” are having sex with children

and rubbing their genitals on random people on the train

so na

miss me with the lectures about “kink shaming”

because there is a line

and way too many people cross it

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I’m in a flat. It’s mine all my stuff is here. All of my records, equipment, pictures, furniture etc. All set up, laid out, unpacked like I’ve been here at least a while. I don’t recognise the place. I’m wandering around, exploring. Opening cupboards. Checking stuff out. I go to the front door and check outside. I don’t know where I am. Outside is hazy. I’m in a city, there’s car and busy noises but I just can’t focus on where I am. As I shut the front door inside snaps into sharp focus again. It seems late. Early evening. I’m dressed like I’ve come in from work. Smart. Office job. Business. I look in a mirror it’s me. A together me. Lovely hair. On the chair an expensive bag. On the carpet expensive shoes. I go to the kitchen and look for a glass find one and look for wine. It’s there. Red. I poor myself a large glass and sit down I turn on the TV and it’s a view of the ocean from a small boat. I change the channels and it’s the same thing. The sound of the gentle waves on a calm sea. I notice tiny little flecks of blood on my blouse and skirt and tights. The more I look the more these flecks trace out surgical lines. Cuts. Like the remnants from wounds almost healed. The more I stare these lines almost look like the dotted lines on a butchery diagram. I remain calm. This seems like fun. This feels very comfortable. I drink my wine, cross my legs, lean back and watch the ocean.

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